Pope to a Dope...

I don't know about you but I was surprised to see the Pope rocking a converted Mercedes ML during the recent Papal visit. I expected something a little more Motability and a little less pose-ability. Still, if his boss is happy with his company car choice then who am I to question what car he stands up in? I even Google'd 'Popemobile' and saw that the late Pope John Paul used to have a modified Mercedes G Wagen. This latest German incumbant is not waving the patriotic flag for Mercedes, it seems the boys in Stuttgart are the chosen supplier of the Papacy.

It got me thinking about other unusual or unexpected modifications. Who can forget the Renault Espace with the Renault F1 engine rocketing around Silverstone prior to the British GP years ago or any number of Top Gear created specials? There is one converted car which very few of you will have heard about and even less will have see. My mate Bernardo's Vauxhall Chevette.

Bernardo is a free spirit, an enigma if you will. He disappears from the country for years at a time and returns as a new character. One minute a labourer in India, the next a Spanish bus driver. He is like the real life Mr Benn.

Bernardo's Chevette started life as a conventional red saloon. Bernardo however wanted it to have more of an identity. So he opened the shed (his real shed not the Chevette) and took out some tins of black and white paint. Paint brushes in hand, Bernardo painted the doors white, the body black and applied the words 'to protect and serve' on the front wings. That's right folks, Bristol's own LAPD squad car had been born.

A stickler for detail, he even applied a Sherrif's badge on the doors albeit that he chose the Star of David rather than a conventional badge but Bernardo was a multi-faith law enforcer.

The car was seen in the Bristol area for many months, Bernardo came to visit his brother and I (we were room mates) in Bournemouth and took us on a street cruise. People pointed, shouted and waved. One bloke even offered to pay us to take him to his office Christmas party so he too joined the patrol and was the envy of all his mates when he turned up to his hotel.

I will leave you with the best story. Bernardo, like his heroes from the American police dramas, was a flamboyant driver. He announced his arrival at B&Q one day by hand brake turning the car into a parking space. On entry to the store the security guard said 'if you drive like that on the way out I will call the law.''I am the law' replied Bernardo..